And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
we're so committed to being not committed
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