I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
