Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize