Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
