Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
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I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
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Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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