do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
