dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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