i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize