After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
