New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
