I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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