..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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