at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
