Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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