I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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