great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
