Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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