Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
