your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
