Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
