Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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