you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
