a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
