I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
