; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize