That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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