Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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