are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Randomize
