I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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