this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
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Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
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We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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