Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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