bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
