I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
