on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
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He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
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She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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