Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
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My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
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I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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