What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
