but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
