i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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