so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
