I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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