Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
