new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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