My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
