You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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