Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
