....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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