It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
