I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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