So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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