If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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