I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize