This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
