White coat. Heels.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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