Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
