i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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