can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
